The Initiating Response #17

So, I'm going for a two-fer tonight as this one girl really takes the cake in terms of pure air-headedness. I probably wouldn't seek such vengeance in blog form, but because she was particularly hostile and nasty to me, I feel obliged to offer her the same courtesy. So, here's my tribute to you, bitch. <== Go here to see said bitch.

To give you some background on the following messages, this girl listed the book Speak as one of her favorites, offered a correction to one of the match questions she filled out on there about her believing homosexuality to be a sin (she doesn't believe it is, hence the correction (which I guess she isn't aware you can change your answers?)), and talked about possibly meeting up for coffee and paninis.

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Mar 4, 2012 – 9:10pm

Speak... I actually remember seeing the Lifetime film adaptation of that book... I liked it. I thought it was very emotionally grabbing.

Also, you should feel ashamed to think Homosexuality is a sin. ASHAMED. I don't even know why I'm talking to you right now.

:P

P.S.: I will go to a cafe with you, but a panini? Why would I want a sandwich with my coffee? Ew. EWW. 

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She responded:

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Mar 4, 2012 – 9:30pm

Speak is a very good book, the movie disappointed me.

Also, you should feel like an idiot to believe that I think homosexuality is a sin because you clearly didn't read though all of my about me. I clearly stated that I answered "yes" on accident.

And yes, a panini. And no, I won't go with you. 

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I responded back:

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Mar 4, 2012 – 9:38pm

Yeah... I know it was an accident. I was being sarcastic. 

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She did not respond back.

The Initiating Response #16

Sometimes these emails just vomit out of my fingers and into the keyboard, which under normal circumstances would cause a short circuit to occur, because the liquidity of the stomach bile mixed with... well, you all know how vomit works... but this one just produced laughter... from me, mainly.

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Mar 4, 2012 – 1:16am

You missed a golden opportunity to rhyme your clitoris with your wits in your "Six Things" section. You could have gone for Clits and Wits, but I guess that's a bit more "headline-y" than you were going for.

EXTRA, EXTRA: GUY EMAILS GIRL, HITS ON HER CLITS AND WITS.

How big are these tits, exactly? I feel like every girl I go out with has at least DD's. Either that's some incredible lucky streak or there's some correlation to a girl's tit size and my own self-confidence.
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Mar 4, 2012 – 1:23am

Damn, just now thought of "TITS, CLITS AND WITS"... I suck.
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This girl did not respond.

And just to clear something up, although I'm sure this won't catch on, this blog is called The Initiating Response, not "That's What He Said." I just put that up there because this blog is about what I fucking said... and I'm a boy. Hence "He." 

Thank you, my adoring fans that I'm fabricating entirely out of my own delusions of grandeur.

The Initiating Response #15

Q: What is your position on hunting? 
A: I do not approve of hunting at all. 
Explanation: “I only approve if there are no other viable means of sustenance available. ” 
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Like in that movie, The Edge, with Anthony Hopkins and Alec Baldwin. They were lost in the wild and there was a crazy, man-eating bear on the loose trying to kill them! The black guy died, of course. He was the pilot of the helicopter or something. I think he was on Oz... Anyway, Anthony Hopkins killed the bear and Alec Baldwin died in the snow or something. It was a good movie. :D

The Initiating Response #14

Starting this up again because... what the hell.

On OkCupid, they have a feed where you can observe all the latest activity from people around your area; photos they uploaded, addendums to profiles and match questions they answered. The questions are used to match people up with one another on the site, but what's great is that you can explain and justify your chosen multiple choice answer. This was one girl's admittedly awesome explanation:

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Q: Can a person be too cheerful? 
A: Yes 
Explanation: “Anyone seen Parks and Rec?”
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Now, what's great is you can use these feed stories as conversation starters and email them about their activity. I happen to love Parks and Recreation, and I immediately thought of clever response to her question that only an avid watcher of the show would get.

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Knope. I have not. 
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She didn't respond back.