The Initiating Response #17

So, I'm going for a two-fer tonight as this one girl really takes the cake in terms of pure air-headedness. I probably wouldn't seek such vengeance in blog form, but because she was particularly hostile and nasty to me, I feel obliged to offer her the same courtesy. So, here's my tribute to you, bitch. <== Go here to see said bitch.

To give you some background on the following messages, this girl listed the book Speak as one of her favorites, offered a correction to one of the match questions she filled out on there about her believing homosexuality to be a sin (she doesn't believe it is, hence the correction (which I guess she isn't aware you can change your answers?)), and talked about possibly meeting up for coffee and paninis.

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Mar 4, 2012 – 9:10pm

Speak... I actually remember seeing the Lifetime film adaptation of that book... I liked it. I thought it was very emotionally grabbing.

Also, you should feel ashamed to think Homosexuality is a sin. ASHAMED. I don't even know why I'm talking to you right now.

:P

P.S.: I will go to a cafe with you, but a panini? Why would I want a sandwich with my coffee? Ew. EWW. 

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She responded:

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Mar 4, 2012 – 9:30pm

Speak is a very good book, the movie disappointed me.

Also, you should feel like an idiot to believe that I think homosexuality is a sin because you clearly didn't read though all of my about me. I clearly stated that I answered "yes" on accident.

And yes, a panini. And no, I won't go with you. 

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I responded back:

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Mar 4, 2012 – 9:38pm

Yeah... I know it was an accident. I was being sarcastic. 

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She did not respond back.

The Initiating Response #16

Sometimes these emails just vomit out of my fingers and into the keyboard, which under normal circumstances would cause a short circuit to occur, because the liquidity of the stomach bile mixed with... well, you all know how vomit works... but this one just produced laughter... from me, mainly.

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Mar 4, 2012 – 1:16am

You missed a golden opportunity to rhyme your clitoris with your wits in your "Six Things" section. You could have gone for Clits and Wits, but I guess that's a bit more "headline-y" than you were going for.

EXTRA, EXTRA: GUY EMAILS GIRL, HITS ON HER CLITS AND WITS.

How big are these tits, exactly? I feel like every girl I go out with has at least DD's. Either that's some incredible lucky streak or there's some correlation to a girl's tit size and my own self-confidence.
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Mar 4, 2012 – 1:23am

Damn, just now thought of "TITS, CLITS AND WITS"... I suck.
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This girl did not respond.

And just to clear something up, although I'm sure this won't catch on, this blog is called The Initiating Response, not "That's What He Said." I just put that up there because this blog is about what I fucking said... and I'm a boy. Hence "He." 

Thank you, my adoring fans that I'm fabricating entirely out of my own delusions of grandeur.