The Initiating Response #9

What I said to this girl:

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Dec 30, 2011 – 3:39pm

You're so weird. Why are you so weird. Whyyyyyyy.

Your profile looks like something a crack addict would have made-up while snorting shrooms through his anus.

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Her response:

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Dec 30, 2011 – 4:10pm

finally, someone gets me

The Initiating Response #8

Send this email to an 18-year-old who had a septum piercing of one of those rings that bulls have.

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Dec 30, 2011 – 12:46am

I need more cowbell.

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This was her response.

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Dec 30, 2011 – 12:49am

what?

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When did I get old?

The Initiating Response #7

I just found this girl living in California or something. Totally not my type, but one thing she said on her profile forced me to message her.

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Dec 28, 2011 – 9:13pm

"I am fluent in sarcasm, if you have trouble understanding sarcasm never talk to me because I will most likely hurt your feelings, then be forced to make fun of you"

Are you being sarcastic here? That would be a funny bit of sarcastic irony on your part... If not, it's just kind of pointless.

The Initiating Response #6

Dec 27, 2011 – 11:59pm

Hello, fellow Beavertonite... Wait. I just said Beaver Tonight. That didn't sound right.

The Initiating Response #5

Dec 26, 2011 – 11:53pm

I'LL MAKE ALL THE DAMN ASSUMPTIONS I WANT, MISSY.

I'm Jamie... Respond or I'll kill your dog... and if you don't own a dog, I'll kill your cat... and if you don't own a cat, I'll kill something else close to you... like your dog.

A risky email considering you seem like a cool person, but I'm a pretty silly individual. If you didn't laugh at that stuff, well... Dat's da best I can do, little lady. :)

The Initiating Response #4

In this response, I actually did NOT make the initiating response. The girl messaged me and asked me a few questions about my profile. Her initiating response isn't really necessary, so enjoy what I said to this girl (who never responded back, by the way).

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Dec 9, 2011 – 10:53pm

Well, I'm glad my profile encouraged you to message me. In essence, that is the primary objective, is it not? I'm actually not so serious in real life (I'm kind of a silly fuck, to be honest). That's the trouble with self-summaries. It's hard to summarize the most accurate version of yourself... but yeah, vegans suck donkey dicks... or at least they would if they weren't fucking vegan. lol

If you've been to 6% of the world, then I've probably been to 1%. Went to England earlier this year as well as the Bahamas, St. Martin and St. Thomas. Traveled cross-country from Florida to Oregon and I've been up and down the east coast. How about you?

Also, I demand you cook me steak and bacon... STEAKON.

The Initiating Response #3

Dec 8, 2011 – 5:00pm

FUCK YOU, BEAVERTON IS AWESOME.

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My Note: I don't know what it is about some people in this city, or even other cities, but apparently people have actual vendettas against the suburbs. It makes no sense to me how you can judge someone for living in a different town than you. It's just an excuse to be prejudice and it makes me kinda sick, to be honest... So, one day I saw this chick's profile explicitly hating on people living in Beaverton (where I live) and so I sent her a friendly little message.

The Initiating Response #2

Dec 8, 2011 – 5:21pm

Ahhhhh, I don't know what to do... You're hot, but I don't know if we have anything in common. We probably don't, so I've decided I'm not going to message you.

Holy shit, you likes the oldies. And Bill & Ted. Kay, I'm going to message you now... or massage you. Take your pick. I'm Jamie, by the wizzays.

The Initiating Response #1

Alright... This will be my third blog. My previous blogs centered around my [failed] career exploits (AnUnsungZero) or my interest in film (TheFlickAddict), but I had trouble really keeping them up because of a high dependency on content creation. In essence, I got lazy. This is no one's fault... Okay, it was my fault, but I think if I set my sights a little lower this time and make my contributions small yet steady, things should go unhaltingly smooth this time. Unhaltingly is not a word, apparently, but let's just pretend that it is.

Getting right to it, as some background for this blog, I've frequented the site known as OkCupid for about a year now. Thus far, I am unimpressed with how the site handles online dating. Interactions feel forced. The first email is perhaps the hardest part of this whole process because it asks that you create something out of nothing.

After a while, I started to realize that most the emails I sent were funny in my eyes, but probably not to total strangers--especially girls. I imagine they come off as borderline creepy or just plain weird. I have since altered my writing in these so-called "initiating responses" in order to get more responses. However, I'm going to take the liberty of sharing with you, the viewers, the many creepy/weird/funny responses that I've sent. Try not to take offense to anything that is said. It's all in good fun and no one was raped or killed. :)

So, without further ado, here's my first entry for the Initiating Response:

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Dec 26, 2011 – 10:47pm

Jurassic Park kicks all kinds of ass. I quote Ian Malcolm all the time... ya know, when it's appropriate and applicable to the current situation. I'm clever like that... I think.

I'm Jamie! I'm sorta new to Portland, so as a native you are obligated to show me around and teach me how to make maze. Then I'll kill all your people, mate with all your women and destroy your villages. :)

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Well, that was it. Stay tuned for my next update where I'll share with you another Initiating Response.